I have 118 Facebook friends. I am not a 'collector'. At one time, before the political wasteland hit last fall, I had 123. One deleted her Facebook last fall for personal reasons. Three of them I unfriended because they never stopped reposting truly offensive political/gender memes. One unfriended me because I decided to try my old hand at growing pot, now that it’s legal here.
I use the Friends lists feature in Facebook. Sometime last
fall, I divided my friends into to lists – Trump and Trumpnot. I use those
lists on occasion to avoid posting or sharing things that would offend someone
in one or the other list. Sometimes I forget. I'm sorry.
A dozen of my friends are old ones from around these parts,
folks I worked with, folks I played with. The 102 that remain are a nice mix of
roughly 1/3 blood relatives to one degree or another, 1/3 genealogy and lineage
group friends, and 1/3 old friends from high school. There are crossovers, of
course. Many of the genealogy group are bound by blood to me, and vice versa.
Same for lineage groups.
Together, my friends are a mix of liberals and conservatives; Democrats,
Republicans, and Independents; Christians, Jews, and none-of-the-above. They
are spread from England, across America, to Australia. Most of them are
tolerant of divergent views. A few are not. Two or three are Calvinists and
believe in the total marriage of church and state. (Fortunately, the
Constitution protects us from that, so I don't have to argue with them.)
Most of them know we don’t see eye-to-eye
on one thing or another, but we have enough in common to agree on nearly
everything else, or at least have no opinion.
But, at least five of these people hate me, and maybe they
don’t even know it. I have been trying to assess just why those folks want to
see my grandchildren suffer from lack of insurance, lack of clean water, lack
of clean air, lack of a needed bootstrap if life turns sour. There is other
damage they want to do to my grandchildren, but those are the four that
concern me the most.
I have reviewed them by gender, category, economics, and
lifestyle. I think I finally have figured it out. They don’t hate me, so much
as they don’t identify at all with my place in this world. They are mostly
self-centered folks, too. Each of them wants to be the center of their world,
the lodestone of their community, the reason for the party, if you will.
First, I am going to let my cousin in Florida off the hook. He is a
self-made millionaire. He came from ordinary middle-America and worked hard to
achieve all he has. He is a conscientious Roman Catholic. He gives generously
to charities, tithes his money and time to the Church. He simply needs a
business-friendly administration in Washington to continue building his fortune,
and is willing to take the bitter with the better. He needn’t worry about his
grandchildren’s health care or their environment, though I would bet he does
worry about them. He’d set them up in Canada or Ireland or anywhere without
contaminated air and water, if the need arose. He’d pay for their illnesses and
surgeries, and even their chemo and rehab. If he knew my own core family was in dire
straits, he would provide help in a heartbeat, though I’d never ask. He is
always kind and never offensive. He is ultra-conservative in his business, and
generous in the extreme with his family and community. He gets a pass.
Of the remaining four – all are limited in what they read
and view – and all are egocentric. They are predictable, and sometimes boring on Facebook because they share memes, and only memes, to make political points. Not a one of them has ever posted a personal opinion with back-up sources. Not a one of them has ever posted a link to a reliable media article that might lead to my better understanding of their feelings and positions. I know that all of them are literate, and could do better than that.
Two who hate me are women who espouse extreme and vocal disregard for
those things I hold dear, and are quick to criticize my views. They both had government
sector careers. Neither will be needing Social Security. They both are childless
women who feel they have nothing invested in the future of the planet, no need
to care if it lasts past their own lifespans.
I have many relatives and friends
who are childless, but still they care about leaving a clean planet behind. They
have nieces, nephews, and neighbors and care about their futures. It’s only
these two specific women who think that when they exit, it doesn’t matter who
else is coming down the road. They have no idea why not everyone sees things
their way.
The other two who hate me are men who had lifetime military
careers and will have lifetime pensions and medical care. One of the two has
inherited wealth that will outlive him, no matter how fast or how much he
spends. Both of these men have children and grandchildren. Neither of them are
the least concerned about possibly leaving a trashed planet to their
grandchildren.
I’ve
known both of these men for six decades or more. Their disregard for environmental conservation appalls me. I hope someday to understand why they
don’t care that their descendants may be drinking contaminated water or
breathing smog. Perhaps the military lifestyle encouraged them to feel at when
their days are done, the mission is complete – the next person in the
barrel can worry about things in a world they no longer have to abide. Perhaps
their careers kept them away from home for so long, their children are
strangers who don't matter in the grand scheme of all things 'Mother Earth'.
I am no longer perplexed by the stubborn ones, the careless
ones, the selfish ones who can’t be bothered to think of any future other than their
own. For them, the ‘greater good’ applies only on the inside of their own front
door. I still like sharing a piece of their daily lives, their families, their pets, their vacations, their ancestral 'finds' -- the things we have in common. I just won't count on them to seek a clean environment and reliable health care for either my family or their own.
They dislike me because I do care? By George, I think I’ve got it!
MRP
